How often do you notice your mind wandering and playing what-if scenarios in a given day? In Chapter 2, Struggles, I discussed the never-ending trail the what-if game can take us on. By going down this path, we deny ourselves the opportunity to live in the moment, and more importantly, we’re forgetting to rely on God. In Jeremiah 29:11-12 (NIV), the Lord said:
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.”
Take a few minutes to write down the what-ifs that have been running through your mind lately. Be sure to include all of them, even those that might seem trivial.
Once you have your list, take time to think about each one and ask yourself these questions: Will my actions or words affect the possible outcome in any way? Have I been praying about this? Am I taking away from other areas of my life by focusing too much on this (such as a change in eating habits, sleeping patterns, or mood). If you find you haven’t been praying about it, do so now.
We can look at the what-ifs in two ways. The first, which I was referring to, are about the future, those that might happen, (but they might not). After reflecting on the possible what-ifs, we can decide to take action if we are able to (and remember to trust God through the process), and, if we cannot take action, we can pray and hand it over to God. The other way to look at them is from the past, those that did happen and now we can reflect on why it happened.
My counselor and I recently talked about unhealthy thinking patterns. As mentioned in my book, I spend time worrying about the judgements and perceptions others have of me. Perhaps you have similar thoughts? For example, do you find yourself thinking what if I say the wrong thing? What if I do the wrong thing? What if the negative things that person said about me are true? (side note, the negative things someone said about you are their opinion, but that doesn’t make them right).
On page 143 of All in For Him, I mentioned every person that comes into our lives is there to teach us, change us, or love us, or we are to do one of those for them. Switching the focus to the what-ifs from the past, we can use our what-if questions about the past to consider God’s purpose for how he wanted to use us from those scenarios. Rather than worrying about someone’s perception of us from the experience, we can instead focus on the purpose the situation served in our lives, for ourselves and for others.
We can ask ourselves questions such as: What-if the rude or difficult person I encountered was meant to cross my path so I can show them kindness. What-if they said unkind things about me because they are insecure with themself? What-if my vehicle needs repairs to remind me to be a steward with my finances and cut back on spending over my budget. What-if I was denied the promotion at work because God has a career transition in store for me. What-if the relationship ended because I have learned the lessons I needed to and God wants me to use those lessons for other purposes. What-if my travel plans were interrupted because God is protecting me from something.
Psalm 37:5 (NIV) reminds us to “commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this”. Although God has plans for us, he wants us to seek him in all we do. For example, I’ve often heard, if you don’t ask, the answer is always no. So, if you aren’t already doing so, invite God into all areas of your life, ask him to show you what steps to take in the what-ifs that you can play a role in, ask him to provide you with comfort and trust in him in the what-ifs you cannot play a role in, and ask him to reveal his purpose for you through the what-ifs that already occurred.
For the potential (future) what-ifs, take time to reflect on them. If you can do something about it, trust God’s guidance along the way. If you cannot do something about it, place it in God’s hand and let it stay there with God.
For the past what-ifs (or whys), take time to reflect on the lesson or purpose it served (or will serve) in your life. As I said in my book “your purpose is in your experiences. It’s in your relationships. It’s in the smile you offer to others. Your conversations. It’s in the comfort you provide others in times of need. Your purpose is every moment of every day” (p. 146).
In closing, Heavenly Father, I pray the person reading this can set aside the what-ifs about their future and focus on your purpose for them in the present moment. In Jesus name, Amen.
Scriptures marked (NIV) taken from the Holy Bible, New International
Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used
by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.
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in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.®
Hein, Molly. All in For Him. Learning to Trust God With All Our Life Experiences. Westbow, 2022.
